eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
