Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
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I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
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The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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