My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize