I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
