I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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