i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
