I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
