anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So many bounce houses so little time
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
