ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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