your parents love me but you hate me
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
