I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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