Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
