I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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