i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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