There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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