we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize