Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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