hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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