just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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