you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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