Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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