If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
