i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
