there's paper in my vomit.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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