My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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