Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
