So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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