Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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