I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
false alarm, still single
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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