THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
