Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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