I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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