Will you blow on my dice?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
