You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Its about making memories worth repressing
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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