im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
