After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize