I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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