I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
