I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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