Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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