she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
