I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
