So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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