new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
