Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
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