I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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