yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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