Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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