is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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