Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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