I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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