On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
