I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
