I cockslap morals
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
