My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
