Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
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