Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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