Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Panties = found
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
