I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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