i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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